We’re now 20 days away from 2020. This last decade I’ve learned so much and grown in myriad ways. I’ve experienced some of the highest highs and lowest lows. I thought, as we enter this new decade, it would be nice to write some notes on how I (and perhaps you) can protect our energy as we move into the new year.
Self Love: It’s important to understand that every action you take comes from your thoughts and emotions. In order to engage in actions that are beneficial to your preservation and growth, you must do so from a place of love. It has taken me so much time to get to a point where I can feel like I truly love myself. And I have seen so much life improvement along the way. My wish is that my work inspires others to continue in their journey of self-discovery and self love.
Faith: No one has achieved any great deal of success without first believing their ability to achieve that success. Many marginalized people face the reality that much of the systems in which we operate are built for us to fail. However, we can succeed only through first believing in our own strength.
Community: Over the past year especially, I’ve met so many wonderful, amazing, beautiful people. From visiting Nigeria to working on set at Pose, I’ve been inspired by so many men and women who are confident in their mission and working so hard to achieve their goals. Whatever we seek to do, we cannot do it alone. Building a community of folks who see you and support you is imperative toward your continued success.
Clarity: Perhaps this started as a way of protecting myself but over the years I’ve developed an air of ambiguity. However, I’m learning that you need to be absolutely clear about what you want in order to get what you want. Things do not just fall into your lap and people are not mind readers. Clarity is key.
Boundaries: It is an unfortunate fact of life that people will try to take from you as much as possible for little in return. You need to set you own boundaries for what you are able to do for people with what they are able to give. A simple ‘no’ can save you a lot of stress.
Conditions: This piggybacks of off boundaries but whenever you seek to work with anyone in any professional capacity, it’s important that you set conditions for your work. An example may be that you won’t begin until they’ve paid x amount of the bill, or that in order for you to be available you need at least 24, or 48 hours notice in advance. It is okay to work from a place of preservation. People who seek to work with you should respect you as much.
Vulnerability: One thing that I continue to struggle with is letting myself be vulnerable, whether that is letting myself be seen and subject to ridicule or simply showing my flaws. Moving forwards, I’m going to commit to being more open with friends and family alike.
Honesty: It’s best to commit to honesty and transparency when dealing with others. For the most part, people will understand where you’re coming from. There is no experiences that you can have that others can’t relate to even on some small degree.
Consistency: Quality is one thing, but consistency is key in improving anything that you seek to improve. Whether it’s with your health and wellness regiments or content output, consistency is a major factor in distinguishing those who achieve and those who don’t. Create and stick to schedules that you can realistically honor. You’ll be surprised how much growth you see.
Openness: There are opportunities every single day, all around you. However, you are not going to get anywhere if you block yourself off from them.
Persistence: Not starting something is the most sure way to fail. Considering early roadblocks as a marker of failure and giving up is another. If you have a strong desire and will to achieve, being persistent in the event that something comes up will get you through.
Excellence: Unlike perfectionism, excellence is a commitment to high quality work that is rooted in love. Forgo trying to make everything perfect, but commit to excellence and you will shine.
Fortitude: Shit happens, stay strong.
Will power: It’s easy to want immediate gains from your efforts or simply niceties just from showing up. If you have the power to delay immediate pleasures in lieu of long term success, you will be amazed with what you can do in time.
Commitment: Following through will plans that you’ve set forth can be difficult in times where you’re not seeing immediate gains. However, commitment in even one area of your life will have multiplier effects that set off positive changes throughout your life. Sometimes the adventure is not starting something new, but building and growing with what you’ve decided you won’t let go.
Humility: You’re not better than anyone else out here. Remember not to base your actions on that which self-serving, but for the benefit of something bigger than you.
Reservation: Keeping the light inside you burning means sometimes you need to step back and fuel yourself. It’s okay to fall back from something if you think it may drain you of the energy you need to serve yourself and others.
Flexibility: Being steadfast in your position is limiting to growth. It’s okay to shift when the time or situation calls for it.
Curiosity: Never stop questioning, learning, living, and growing. There is ALWAYS something new to learn, uncover, or see.
Self-Love: This can’t be stressed enough. Love yourself, and you will see improvement all over you life.